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Ya'at'eeh (Hello, in Navajo)

Poems of the broken hearted

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"People say everything happens for a reason. These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a good-bye. But apparently women have to either get married or learn something. Why are we in such a rush to move from confused to Confuscious? Do we search for "lessons" to lessen the pain?"                 - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex in the City
 
So what is it all about? I never knew one day that love would strike me and cause me to falter in a sea of red velvet kisses and strawberry sweetness. Then just as I thought I was safe to say my heart was taken for good, my now ex-boyfriend threw in the towel and left me with a letter saying it was over. Maybe it was easier for him, helped him to lessen the pain for himself. But it didn't help but to make me think that all I was worth was nothing. I felt I wasn't left with any dignity and all the pride I had bottled into the sea of love sunk to the bottom where it sometimes continues to drown in feelings of sorrow and confusion. I can only pray that I can learn to love again, and whomever can love me next won't leave me wondering if I am worth more than a letter saying how much I didn't contribute to a relationship.
 
I wrote these poems throughout my depression and recovery of my broken heart and healing self. In order to grow one must be able to live to experience every emotion that is necessary to move on.

Continuous Love

 

There ain’t no way

For me to say what I truly feel

When we came face to face

I felt broken

My heart shattered

 

My heart faltered to the floor

My soul escaped my cold flesh

Throughout a night of sleeplessness

Insomnia was my new best friend

 

Can’t control my emotions

They take me on a high for two minutes

Followed by an hour of depression

Just give me five minutes to cry

Away this hurt that builds

In my heart

In my head

Inside me

 

I can run away

Down a sandy trail every morning

The endorphins released make me feel good

Nurtures my physical shape

I may be good on the outside

But I still cry inside

 

This pain does not make me bleed

Does not cut skin deep

This pain hurts my head

Makes me tear and weep

 

Love shouldn’t hurt some say

But love can hurt

Love does hurt

That’s when you know it’s real

It doesn’t escape or leave just because you said it was over

 

It transforms into something I can’t explain

Something I can’t contain

I just know my love for you is still with me

I can’t stop loving you

Many times I wonder if you feel the same

Do you still feel some love for me, too?

samtynov04.jpg
Me and Tyrone in Nov 04

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